When overnight experience go as not expected – Ridiculous Hostel Experience

A lot of people warned me that dorm rooms are supposed to be dirty, loud, and unsafe. Since I left to explore the world and I was going to be staying primarily in hostels while traveling, I was convinced I’d be getting these bloodthirsty insects on me on the regular while traveling and that during my trip I would definitely and regularly have to deal with more or less comfortable hostel accommodations.

Little did I know they were all wrong.

Well, in retrospect, I can tell you with certainty that most of the people I spoke to had probably just had bad luck. Not only I’ve never had the bed-freaking-bugs problem while traveling (as a friend of mine, still disgusted nowadays, had anticipated to me several times) but, to be honest, most of the hostels I have been to are just lovely.

Fun fact? I’ve never had bugs problems while traveling, on the other hand, my house has been invaded by them… no it wasn’t Shalom’s fault!

Well, this doesn’t mean I just had a trouble-free experience while staying in hostels: we all know, especially those of us who grew up watching Gossip Girl, that we like good stories, but we like unpleasant ones more… In fact in this post, I am going to share the good ones.. the bad.. mmhh.. the funny ones? Oh, com’on, call it as you like, I’d stick with my most ridiculous hostel experiences and not only!  And trust me, if I’m laughing today telling them, I definitely wasn’t at the time!

Are you ready for being terrified, wondering what’s wrong with people, and, of course, what’s wrong with me as well? Have you got your popcorn yet? Well done, then get ready to laugh.. also because some of these ridiculous stories included me in the role of the one who was making disasters…

Check out and judge yourself my 13 most ridiculous funny hostel experiences!

#1. I AM HULK

You know those days where you’re dead tired because you haven’t slept but you still want to explore every corner of the new place anyways? Therefore after dinner and with my feet completely shattered I finally went to bed. My room was a communal mixed dorm with 2 bunk beds, for a total of 4 people.

In the middle of the night, while I was still dreaming of happy sheep jumping over the fence in a white-green field, the guy who was sleeping in the bed above mine started to move and SCREAM as if someone was beating him up. But it wasn’t over yet, he jumped out of bed and still half asleep I saw him screaming against the library “No, do not dare to kill me…please no…PLEASE NOOOO!”.

This went on for a few minutes, in the meantime, everyone in the room woke up. Fortunately and I still don’t know how his traveling buddy managed to calm him down and convince him to go back to sleep. I have to say I was pretty shaken up and it took me a while to get back to sleep.

The following morning our dear friend came to apologize: “Sorry, I forgot to inform you that I have nightmares regularly. I am truly sorry if I scared you last night.”

I didn’t say a thing, not sure whether I was still in shock from the night or if my brain simply couldn’t wrap its head around why he hadn’t booked a private room…

#2. NO WORRIES, I’LL TAKE CARE OF THE SOUVENIR!

It was 3 a.m. I was already awake with my luggage ready to catch the bus and leave for the next adventure. I wanted to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake up the rest of the dormitory while I was leaving the hostel behind me when… suddenly, one of the guys who slept in a single bed opposite my bunk bed got up and approached the edge of the other bunk bed in the room.

At first, I didn’t understand what was going on and most of all I couldn’t figure out if I was still dreaming or what… Nope, the guy in question was really peeing! Initially in the dark, I thought he and his friend put a bucket next to the bed on purpose in case of night emergencies. When I turned on the light of my phone, I discovered that he was actually peeing on someone’s backpack! I was shocked and disgusted, I couldn’t believe my eyes. So like nothing happen in the middle of the room… he must have been drunk.

Once he finished doing his business, he tried to go back to bed… instead of going back to his bed, he was heading towards me! Eh no eh! Luckily I was awake and witnessing the whole scene I was able to push him away before he could sit on me. I think I scared him…actually, I am not sure which one scared the other one more, LOL. More or less elegantly I told him to go back to his bed.

After a few tries, he finally managed to lie down in the right bed. I waited a few minutes and left the room. Before taking the bus I stopped at the reception to report the incident and I sent a WhatsApp message to one of the girls who was sleeping in the same room … Moral of the story they banned him from the hostel.

The thing that upsets me most about this story is thinking about that poor soul who woke up finding out his backpack wet and smelly… Definitely not a fairy tale awakening… or at least not the awakening I wish for anyone to happen…

#3. SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SENORA!

My adventure in San José, Costa Rica had just started. My very first day here, I have to say, was decidedly abnormal: as soon as I arrived, my first encounter was with an elderly gentleman who ended up becoming my private guide.

The second day I ended up joining a group of Swiss people, destination Tortuguero. The old man I met the previous day was actually their guide and he kindly invited me to join the others without charging me for the tour ticket. For the others I was his assistant, to be honest, I was as lost as they were. 

Anyway: when the evening came, we all found ourselves sharing a room, each one with its own single bed.

It only took me one night to realize that maybe I wasn’t just an assistant on paper but a real babysitter… Every night my dear friend would get a little too drunk and end up being dragged to his room. It was like trying to put to bed a child who just didn’t want to go to bed. 

Once wrapped him into his duvet I could finally go to sleep too, by then exhausted.

Late at night something, or rather SOMEONE, grabbed my leg. It was José, aka our guide, who was still completely drunk and trying to reach the bathroom… Struggling but not giving up, I would say? My friend had lost his balance… trying to get up from the ground he had the brilliant idea to grab the first thing that happened to him: yes, my leg, a fantastic and unstable foothold… Thanks, Josi for the free trip… and the unforgettable wake-up call.

#4. SUCH A BRILLIANT IDEA

Same tour, same Jose, same separate beds, another night.

This time our room was nearby the ocean. Still completely tired because of the jetlag therefore in a very light sleep here in the middle of the night I hear someone whispering.

Strange, it was just us in the room. I shyly opened my eyes and there he was: José standing in front of the bathroom looking unusually confused.

I was about to ask him what the problem was even though inside my bones I knew it wasn’t a good idea and right then the genius decided to use the lighter as a flashlight to light up the room.

He then started going in and out of the bathroom like he was looking for something until he found it: “Oh, there you are!”. He turned on the bathroom light and went to pee.

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard and I was sure that confusion was not only my jetlag… 

#5. YOU HAD THE WHOLE DAY FOR PACKING

Sometimes sleeping in a hostel means having to deal with people who do not fully understand where the limits to living together are. Among the most common experiences of hostel nights, one is definitely being woken up in the middle of the night by someone turning on the light. 

My friend and I were in Oahu, Honolulu in Hawaii, for a week, and like any other trip, we stayed in a hostel. This time we shared a room for 4 with a couple of party people: the classic ones you find at the disco at night and sleeping during the day.

Like everyone else, the end of their trip was imminent and as always they went out partying and came back very late. Only a small detail must have escaped them between one cocktail and another: the room was still completely covered with their things. 

And here they come, still drunk and staggering, coming back from their last incredible night in Hawaii: noisy and unstable as a few, they came in slamming the door and turning on every light in the room, even the useless ones, and started packing.

I don’t know if it was my tiredness or their slowness but I assure you that they took forever! We were sleeping… thanks guys, it was a pleasure meeting you…

#6. SPECIAL CAKES ARE DANGEROUS

Having become fans of the hammock lifestyle, my friends and I decided to continue staying in hostels with the possibility of sleeping comfortably swinging in flaps of cloth suspended in Minca, Colombia.

We, sometimes way too careless to prepare our itineraries in the best possible way, still didn’t know that Minca, a very underrated destination given its beauty, is famous for being the Colombian drug capital. To be honest, it didn’t take us long to realize that.

Wandering around town we ended up in a small grocery store with some cakes and as you all know it is always a good day to treat yourself to a sweet treat after dinner. At one store we found a “special cake”, which sounded perfectly good for the evening’s dessert. The store owner was super nice to us and was in storytelling mode, ending up telling us the story of drugs and their trade-in Colombia. Probably one of the most unexpected and interesting witnesses of my travels. so I’m pretty sure you’ve guessed, the cake wasn’t special because of some strange dough’s color but because of the choice of ingredients that represented a taste of local specialties for us… 

After dinner we delighted in our chocolate treats… it was nice, at least until bedtime… namely the hammocks. Definitely an adventure… We clumsy and relaxed, and by then inelegantly rolled up in our hammocks, version with mosquito nets included. Our friend? Well, she was, less relaxed, actually in radio speaker mode. There was no way to shut her up:

“What if I die?”
“What if I don’t wake up tomorrow?”
“Give me some more M&M’s, I’m starting to feel better.”

“Shut the f**** up! We are in the middle of the night and there are people here trying to sleep!” Yeah, our roommate was not at all happy with our friend’s monologue, luckily she fall asleep right before they kicked us out… Damn… What a night they would say.

#7. JESUS HAS DESCENDED AMONG US!

Cartagena, Colombia, same travel companions and disaster (kidding) as before. It was one of those nights where the whole group was not sure what to do: whether to sleep or not? To party or not?

In the end, the Vida Loca took over us and we went dancing, returning to the hostel around 3 am. After a shower, brushing teeth, and wearing PJs we were all finally in bed when we heard a strange noise coming from the corridor, and out of nowhere, there was a slam! The door opens wide.

A man dressed completely in white entered the room, illuminated by the light of his phone… “Hi everyone!” he greets us smiling happily.

He looked like Jesus! Yes Jesus I am telling you! We started to laugh like children in the middle of the night. If I still think about it I laugh about the situation. The silence and by now we were saying goodnight and then he suddenly came in. That moment of silence between his greeting and our reaction and nothing, just loud laughter.

#8. NO ALARM IN THE JUNGLE

Also in Colombia, in Tayrona National Park we decided to spend a few nights in the middle of the jungle.

We had 3 options: hammock, tent or hostel, and AGAIN… of course we ended up sleeping hanging between two trees. 

It was a pretty eventful few nights. I underestimated the noises of jungle nightlife… During the night the forest is in the middle of life and if I learned one thing it’s that the monkeys never seem to sleep. I still don’t know if they were defending their territory, chatting, or just having a private party, the fact is that they had very different tones than what I’m used to during the night.

That morning I woke up and the first thing I noticed was my friend visibly tired and quite upset: “I slept really bad, so I had to go to the bathroom but at the same time I was so afraid of being attacked by a monkey that I waited for the sun to rise”. How I understood her poor soul… I would have done the same thing myself

#9. A CONCERT DURING THE NIGHT

I was in San Diego with a friend of mine and again we shared a room with two other people: two brothers.

After our first night in the city, we were devastated so we decided to go to sleep relatively early.

Later in the night, our roommates returned, now more than a little bit tipsy. Despite having one too many beers, the combination of their discretion and my tiredness made my sleep almost uninterrupted. In fact, I almost didn’t realize they had returned… Famous last words, I’d say.

It didn’t take long for the two of them to fall asleep under the influence of alcohol, her snoring melody, and his perfect imitation of a hibernating bear with a cold. A perfect harmony… so much so that not even the corks could hinder their wailing. My ears wanted to cry. Yes, my ears wanted to cry. Imagine my dark circles the next morning, looking like a panda… 

#10. HOSTING A PARTY FOR LITTLE FLYING BASTARDS

Costa Rica, my last night in the country, why not make the most of it by enjoying some of the country’s seaside attractions. As soon as I set foot in the hostel I knew that the night would not be without surprises… You have to imagine the tropical heat of the Caribbean, mixed with the humidity of the area. Many of us like it for its refinement and for the advantage of being able to enjoy long evenings outside. Well, you will be surprised to know that we are not the only ones who like it… 

Well excursus aside, unfortunately, the cost of my hostel room this time did not seem to include the mosquito net. I have to say that even though I had noticed it I didn’t pay much attention to it and went to bed without asking myself too many questions or too many problems… Ah G how CARELESS you are sometimes. 

Around 2 am my sweet Caribbean dreams turned into a local party. My legs were itching so much that I’m sure those mosquitoes were using me as a place for their party for hours…

I ran to the bathroom and got into the shower… Sorry to the rest of you staying at the hostel for waking you up running down the hallway like a crazy heavy elephant on the run. Well, I was on the run, kind of. I showered and spread myself with repellent and OMG I looked like a monkey scratching myself! Eventually, I managed to go back to sleep only to wake up the next day with legs full of red circles.

#11. ARE THEY HAVING SEX?

Sometimes I really wonder how I can be so clueless…

I was in Panama with a couple of my friends of mine. This time we opted for an Airbnb rather than a hostel but that didn’t make the story any less interesting. 

We were all sleeping in separate rooms when in the middle of my peaceful rest I was awakened by a strange shaking in the room. I quickly looked at my phone and thought to myself: “Oh well, they must be having sex, lucky them.”

The following morning, playing dumb in my still half-asleep mood I arrive at breakfast and as a first question they asked me:

“Did you notice anything strange last night?”

And I obviously playing dumb, “Umm, no, why?”

“There were two earthquakes last night! Is it possible you didn’t notice?”

“Ah. Oops…I thought you were having sex” was the best I could come up with at that moment…

They looked at me like I was dumb, or like they always look at me, hard to tell, and we all ended up laughing out loud.

#12. LOUD MUSIC IS THE NEW LULLABY

This time I’m taking you with me on an experience not really in a hostel, but on a night bus. We were traveling around Colombia when we decided to take advantage of the night shuttles to get us from San Gil to Medellin, a stretch of about 8 hours. Perfect for sleeping right? 

Once we got on and acclimated to the 12°C of air conditioning (eh yes Colombians love air conditioning) we fell asleep.

Little do we know that not even after 30 minutes of travel our driver pulls over angrily. We suddenly woke up when he yelled and insulted someone on the bus. Apparently, for us, the night bus was the perfect opportunity to combine a move and a night of sleep, while for others it was the perfect time to smoke marijuana in the bathroom… In fact, there seemed to be a strange smell, to think that my friend was convinced it was all a dream.

After the brief argument between driver and passenger, we set off again but it wasn’t over yet. On the one hand, I could understand why he did what he did, on the other hand, I just wanted to headbutt him…. our dear friend, probably looking for support for the trip, decided to turn the radio on full blast, even turning on all the speakers on the bus so that no one could miss the fantastic broadcast of a Colombian group from the region playing folk music. Thanks, man…we really enjoyed the sleepless night.

#13. BONUS, BY SAM!

Henloo I’m Sam and I live behind the scenes of this blog dealing with translations, editing, and some content creation 🙂 Today I’d like to tell you about one of my strangest hostel experiences ever!

Dublin, Ireland, my friend and I returning at 3 am from a pub crawl. We were going to sleep in separate rooms that night due to hostel availability… Lucky her.

Back at the hostel, I got into my room and silently went to my bed, the bed on top of a two-story castle, where I found a guy sleeping peacefully… I woke him up and told him that he was sleeping in my bed and to kindly move, he was still half asleep told me that the others in the room told him that the bed was free and so to sleep there. I complain again and told him to move his ass but.. nothing he didn’t move, he turned to the other side and kept sleeping.

In the meantime, we had made enough noise to wake up others in our room. A girl even told me that there was still a free bed, the one where the thief in mine should have slept: a bunk bed on three floors, and the free bed was obviously the one on the last floor lol.

I climbed and illuminated it I understood why my friend stole mine: it was all dirty and stained with something that could be pee.

I go down the stairs and went back to the guy who was still in my bed (oh guy.. too many gyms early in the morning tho) and told him again to move. Nothing he ignored me by telling me that he would be gone by 4 o’clock anyway. Quite confused, tired, and by then quite angry I went to the front desk to report the matter. Their response? “Tell him to move and sort it out by yourselves.” Thanks really helpful.

In the meantime, it was almost four o’clock in the morning and I was still with no place where to sleep. Luckily the hostel had a relaxation room with hammocks. I decided, with the little lucidity I had left, to go down to the basement and sleep in a hammock, using my jacket and scarf as a blanket and pillow. I was so tired that in a few minutes I collapsed into a deep sleep.

At 6:30 a.m. I heard someone slamming the door: it was the custodian, who had come by for a tour of inspection, and was quite irritated when he woke me up by shaking my hammock and kicking me out of the relaxation room because it was “forbidden to sleep in there”. More and more tired, confused and hopeless, I went back to my room to get my things, I sent a message to my friend telling her that I would have waited for her in one of the quieter common rooms and I ended up dozing off on a couch using my NorthFace bag as a pillow. 

As you may have guessed by now, hostel life can easily turn into a damn ridiculous experience, and surely by staying here and there more than once you’ll get some story to take home as a compelling souvenir to tell your friends in front of a beer!

Overall, I can say that I have a love-hate relationship with hostels…

Despite all these bad and good experiences, I still find myself staying in hostels when I travel alone or in a company, as it’s a guaranteed way to make friends! At the same time, I am wondering why I am doing this to myself anytime I venture into a dorm room’s misadventure.

I truly hope the stories of my crazy nights (depending on your point of view) have amused you. Today I too laugh, but at the time I guarantee you that wasn’t laughing… Despite everything, knowing me I’m unlikely to convert soon to live in a hotel, so stay tuned because I’m sure I’ll get some good things on the way!

What about you? What has been your most ridiculous and fun adventure/misadventure during a night on the road?

 

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